Insomnia

My husband just poked his head out of our bedroom door to inform me I'm going to be wasted tomorrow. He's right. I've stayed up way later than I should. But I know the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I have to attend the funeral of a mom not much older than me who died last week.

And I don't want to accept the reality of that fact. So I've stayed awake, trying to will her impending memorial service away, trying to remember more of her from the two or three conversations we ever had. I think we would have been good friends, but her health was poor enough that I didn't see much of her during our Mothers of Preschoolers meetings. I met her mother before I met her, and we chatted about her daughter during our Bible study times - Beth Moore studies tend to do this to women: make them examine their relationships at length.

I feel honestly like I have no right to feel any grief over her unexpected passing, but it cuts me to the quick to think that her baby - similar in age to Rhys - may not be able to remember much of her when she grows up. One of my greatest fears is that I will die before my babies reach an age that will ensure they remember me as their mother - not from pictures or reminders, but from their own hearts and minds. What a sobering reminder of my mortality that this mom is now gone physically from her children's lives. I've been thinking about her all day, and I take some comfort in knowing that she poured as much love as she could into her children - and that check will not come back void.

Dear JCPenney and Hulu,

JCP, I will address you first. You think that your "fair and square" ad campaign is fantastic enough to hire Ellen Degeneres to tout it. But who did you pay to come up with this? I'd like to have a chat with him or her. Because it sucks. On what planet does it make sense to stop having coupons in order to draw customers in? Not mine. I get that simple is better and that less is more. But when it comes to money, more people these days are figuring out that less is less. This means coupons and doorbusters are a help, not a hindrance. Ellen is cute and funny, but I'd rather have coupons.

Hulu, I don't even know what to do with you. You know I was incredulous a couple years ago when I heard the rumors that you would soon begin charging people to watch TV online (the nerve!), but by the time it happened, I was only a little shocked. I guess by then I had grown used to the idea. But now you've struck a low blow: offering an app on my Wii for the same price as Netflix, so I can miss Glee and still watch it the next day on my big screen TV instead of on my little laptop? Damn you, Hulu. I just might cave.

I'm Not Fashionista

And I do not aspire to be so. I enjoy shopping, finding deals, and wearing clothes that make me feel good/look good. But it ends there. I don't want to design clothes for myself or others to wear. But I do like to look at runway-type fashion shows on TV when the opportunity presents itself. So it happened that a recent news spot on CBS Sunday Morning caught my eye. One of the news anchors was talking to some designer - I forget who - and while they were talking, the designer was in the process of arranging clothes on a model that was - no joke - skinny as a twig and flat as a board.

And I had a light bulb moment.

That model looked like a human canvas. That was her physique: skinny and flat, like an artist's canvas would be. So if a designer considers him or herself an artist, why wouldn't he or she want the most nondescript canvas/model possible so that the art itself is on display, rather than the model. So often, girls think they are supposed to look a certain way based on the physical appearance of such models. They feel pressure to be thinner because that must be the ideal or it wouldn't be on the runway. But think about it: If an artist was going to use a canvas that was not perfectly flat or thin, that artist would have to plan his or her art around the different medium that was going to be used. "Starry Night" doesn't look the same on a vase as it does on a canvas. If "real women" were used in what Tyra calls high fashion, the fashion itself would not be on display; the women would be. And while there is a place for women to display their curves, perhaps the runway simply isn't that place - unless the artist chooses to use a woman's curves as his or her medium.

Just a thought.

Trouble Is

Sometimes I have a hard time reconciling my college self with my current self. (It helps that I married my college sweetheart, and eight and a quarter years later there are still few people I'd rather spend time with than him.) But what about the friendships? The acquaintances I still run into from time to time? The people I thought I knew? Those I thought would remain lifelong friends who are now mostly names on a Christmas card list because there isn't enough time or lack of distance between us for anything more? I question those people and relationships I once held dear, sometimes, and then I read blog posts like B's today. And I'm reminded that even if we live in different places, and even though we have children and all the daily responsibilities that go with parenthood, and even if we haven't seen each other in FOREVER, we still are kindred spirits. We still are friends. And my grown-up, married-with-kids-self would have been also have been thankful the vomit was not alive as were the lice, sucked it up, and carried on, just as I was thankful years ago at LU, when Bethany would rub-scratch my back and make me feel like she cared, and when Miriam would help me with my College Algebra and never make me feel dumb, and when Ester and Kara would listen to me rant and rave while trying to understand the prevailing, unquestioning, black-and-white interpretation and application of many biblical principles that didn't gel with the way I was raised and - whether they agreed or not - we could still go get tacos afterward.

Today, I can remember that while I have matured in the necessary ways from the college girl I was, I am still the same at my core. And the close friendships which started more than a decade ago need not suffer because of distance and time; they need only adapt and mature themselves. And honestly, I shouldn't be bothered by the opinions of acquaintances - people who never knew me anyway.

Plus, college me would give mad props to present me for getting a tat. Which is happening. Pictures will soon follow.

[In other news, this song really reminds me of this verse, which I've been thinking about quite a bit recently as we read it in our BSF study a couple weeks ago.]

Bonus!

This morning, I was able to get my hair done at JCPenney. I got it cut and styled and was done by 11:10ish, which meant I still had half an hour or so to kill before going to pick G up from his half-day of school. It would have been rather pointless to come back home only to head immediately back out, so I opted to focus on one or two things we could use from JCPenney and headed off to the men's department to shop for Hubs.

And then I got sidetracked.

I noticed a little old lady with a pile of boxes on the floor near a small rack with a "$1 and up" sign on it. So I headed over to browse what looked like sale-priced Christmas merchandise. And this is what I found:

• St. John's Bay Women's Knee High Socks in Cream - originally $8, marked down to $1
• #1 Teacher Owl Ornament [I purchased 2 and removed the "2011" charm on the ribbon] - originally $18 each, marked down to .50 each
• "Let's Sew" Kit - originally unsure of price [barcode was no longer in the system] - marked down to $2
• Liz Claiborne Gloves [I got a pair each in brown and cream] - originally $26 each, marked down to .50 each
• Colorplay Gloves [I bought two pair] - originally $28 each, marked down to .50 each
• A.n.a. hot pink gloves - originally $22, marked down to .50
• Liz Claiborne jeweled flower bookmark - originally $20, marked down to $2
• Liz Claiborne snowman bookmark - originally $18, marked down to .50
• Winelines [a dozen in a pack] - originally $12, marked down to .50
• Liz Claiborne butterfly brooch [x2] - originally $18 each, marked down to .50 each
• Liz Claiborne "L" ornament - originally $18, marked down to .50
• Liz Claiborne handbag holder [similar to this one] - originally $18, marked down to .50
• Decree arm warmers - originally $24, marked down to .50
• American Living Fingerless Gloves - originally $26, marked down to .50

I spent around $20 total, and I saved about $318. But why share?

Glad you asked. Firstly, I *love* a good deal. Secondly, when I get a good deal I like to share where I got it and how much I saved. In case you're curious, I'm not an extreme couponer (actual or aspiring), and I don't horde stuff I don't need. I am, however, an opportunist - and a blogger. :) If you're curiouser still, here are the guidelines I personally use before taking advantage of what seems to be a good deal:

• I have to know - or at least think - I can afford it right then. If not, it stays.
• I have to have an immediate and/or specific use for it in mind before I purchase it. When I saw those butterfly brooches, I knew I could use them for Mother's Day gifts. When I saw the make your own bear kit, I immediately thought of a little girl's upcoming birthday. As for the Christmas items, I've already labeled some of them so I know who they'll go to in ten months' time - which will also keep me from thinking I still need to buy gifts from those people.
• I share with anyone who wants to know. I'm friends with other stay-at-home moms who have to think ahead and save money wherever they can. So if I see a deal, I say so.

See you on the flippity-flip (and sorry if any of my math is faulty- JCPenney doesn't tell you how much you saved at the bottom of the receipt, so Hubs had to calculate on his IPhone calculator. Hopefully we didn't miss any numbers. Also, I factored in 10 bucks as the original price for the bear kit since the Amazon price was near that),

Honest[ly Frugal] Q