I'd marry you if you could dance. That's what I said...(Caedmon's Call)

Hmm. What a day. It was really nice, what with all the sunshine and the warmness and the marriage proposal over dinner.
Okay, not really the last one, but now that I've got your attention, I would like to share something with you. See, the thing is that I am afraid of happiness that lasts as long as mine with him has. Granted, it has only been a little over a month since we have been "official," but I can't recall a time in my life when I have been quite this happy in any way similar enough to this for it to feel familiar. It's a totally new and, at times, astounding kind of experience for me. That's frightening - to be experiencing all the things that I have been for the first time, all at once, at the age of twenty, a time by which most people my age have done a helluvalot more than I have. There are few people around who readily relate to the first time freak-outs the past few weeks have brought me.

I was listening to God, though, today. He and I have been having this ongoing discussion over why He won't answer this one question I had, until today, felt like I would die if He did not answer soon. So I'm standing. And I'm listening. And I don't know if it is something He said or something He did or something He something elsed. But whatever it was, it left me with this wonderful feeling of His control over my life, and the need I don't have to worry as long as I am putting Him where He needs to be: first. I wish I could explain how terribly frightened I was before and how terribly not I am now, but I don't think words would even do it justice. Suffice it, though, to say that one day I'm gonna dance right outta here... And that in itself is enough to make me not fear anything thrown my way while I am in this body.(for now...)