Hmm.



I'm so tired that I can't sleep. [I'm] standing on the edge of something much too deep...

Where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night, you gave me everything you had; oh, you gave me life...



Do you ever get the feeling that time is passing so fast and so much is happening that you are missing something huge? Nothing is falling apart, and nothing is even going wrong. In fact, everything is going so frighteningly right that there must be something wrong.


Perhaps I am being a stupid girl. Perhaps the devil is just putting that fear into my head because he knows I am not accustomed to being so happy so consistently. Perhaps I really am missing something.


Perhaps it's been far too long since I had a spare moment to think - not my normal overthinking which inevitably leads to unnecessary freaking out - but the kind of thinking that just involves clearing my head, spreading out in the middle of my bedroom floor, listening to God, and mulling over what He has to say to me.





It's just that I don't want to screw up everything God has been so gracious to bless me with in this past year by neglecting to do or not do something He wants from me.



Maybe it's paranoia.

Maybe it's some sort of spiritual maturation process.

Maybe I may as well have been named Gideon at my birth, for all the fleece I am asking for.



Maybe I just need to chill.