Life on Planet Mom

My relationship with my children - especially Gabriel - seems to be teaching me some new spiritual truth every day. A few weeks ago, G and I had this conversation as I was trying to change his clothes in his room and he kept reaching for a toy on his dresser:

Me: Gabriel, come here. (I bend down to put on his pants, only to notice his legs have moved)

Me: Gabriel, come here. (I bend down again, only to feel déjà vu.)

Me: Gabriel, obey Mommy first. Then, play.

It was like I saw a light bulb turn on over my head: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."(Matthew 6:33) In other words, "Obey God first, then do what you want." It rather hit me like a ton of bricks.

The last few days, Gabriel has been in never-before-seen High Drama mode. He's not really throwing tantrums, but there's been plenty of lying down of the floor, yelling "no," and whining and "crying" (usually in his room, since Mommy can only take so much). And I understand his two year-old self. He just really wants to do what he wants to do...now! And he really doesn't understand why he can't do stuff sometimes. I know that's frustrating for him. But he's got to learn the right way to express his frustration, and he's got to learn to obey his parents in spite of it.

And I just can't help thinking of how God must see me sometimes. There I was, all through high school and much of college, just wanting a boy's affection. (And trust me, I set my sights on some hum-dingers.) And I got so frustrated when my affection wasn't returned: Why? What was wrong with me? What was wrong with him? All the while, I wonder if God was rolling his eyes and willing me to be patient. He didn't want just any old person for me; He wanted to give me the right person - but in His time, not my own. Kinda like when G wanted a cookie (after two mid-morning snacks) this morning, and I told him he had to wait til his daddy got home and he'd had lunch. I didn't want G to think he could have whatever, whenever he wanted, I didn't want him to get sick from eating too much, and I also needed to know if he was really hungry or just wanted something to eat because he wanted it. (I got that answer, btw, when the carrots I offered were "dropped" onto the floor. He did later eat them with his lunch - before he was rewarded with the cookie I'd always intended to give him.)

With G, it's not really about him earning certain privileges (all the time). Usually, if I have a mind to give him something, he'll get it. It just won't necessarily be on his own time-table.

I'm sure before the day is out, G will be spending some time alone in his room, feeling oh-so-sad because I've denied him yet another thing that I don't think he needs to have at that precise moment. What I hope is that as he grows, I'll continue to see him at least a little bit of the way God sees me.