To fast, perhance, to reflect

I've been doing a lot of reflecting leading up to this season of Lent. One of the first things I had to decide was whether to fast from fast food, television, or both. If you follow me on Facebook, you know which I chose. If not, you can probably guess. But maybe in either case, you don't know why it's a good thing to fast.

Fasting is one of those distinctly Catholic things that as a Protestant I didn't really get until recently. I mean, what does fasting mean? Eating fish on Friday? And isn't fasting just giving something up? Why give something up, anyway? What I've begun to realize in recent weeks is that God doesn't need us to fast. He remains God, our loving Father whether we eat French fries while watching "Glee" or not. And I don't think God begrudges us small things like this to help us de-compress, de-stress, and relax. But I do think He wants us to go to Him first. Fasting - like anything else in life - is something we should do in order to grow closer in our relationship with Him.

A month or two ago, I had a conversation with God that went something like this (it was a Sunday morning after a particularly long Saturday with the boys):

Me: You know, I really think I just want to stay home and take a nap. Am I even going to get anything from church service if I fall asleep during it?

God: Well, you're not doing me any favors by going.

Me: Oh. Well, ... Maybe I'll go anyway. For me.

The thing is all this stuff we come up with: fasting, going to church on Sunday mornings, having a quiet time - there are spiritual, biblical principles to back them all up. But we don't change God by doing them or not doing them; we simply increase our probability of becoming who He wants us to be. All these things amount to are time spent with Him - corporately, singularly, aloud, silently. He wants this time with us because He loves us. But if we do it out of a sense of obligation, we do neither Him nor ourselves any favor.

I don't mean we shouldn't pray unless we "feel like it." But I do mean that we should realize our not feeling like it doesn't (necessarily) change our hearts' desire to be closer to our Father.

When my brother was little, my mother often prompted him to respond to something she'd given him by saying, "And you say..." And he'd respond with, "Thank you." As a parent now, it's so gratifying to hear my two year-old say "Thank you" without being asked to do so. It's literally music to my ears. During the season of Lent (all the time, really) I think that in my choosing to give up fast food and television - both things I enjoy, that take lots of my time - I'm saying an unprompted "thank you" to God for all He's given me, especially the gift of His son and eternal forgiveness through Him.