Confession Time

My focus this week has not completely been on my Lord's suffering, death, and resurrection. I've thought about it more than I normally do, but not as much as I'd have liked to. Perhaps I knew my own propensity for losing focus, and that's why I decided to devote this blog to Holy Week. But since the Lord has been so very clearly at work in my life this week, it's time to share.

Tuesday found Andrew, me, and the boys at our pediatrician's office for perhaps the tenth time this school year. Both boys had runny noses that weren't stopping with the aid of Delsym and Zyrtec for G, or nebulized albuterol for R. The diagnoses weren't pretty: bronchitis (round 2) for G and an ear infection plus not-very-nice-sounding-wheezing for R. So in addition to the money we did not intend to have to shell out for two co-pays two days before pay day, we had four prescriptions to purchase as well. That's stressful enough, right? Well, add to that the electronic system failing to transmit the prescriptions from the pediatrician to the pharmacy (twice) and a pharmacy that closes at 8pm, and the sum is that by 6:30pm, you have a frazzled Q.

Well, finally, the on-call nurse called the prescriptions in, and I had the green light to go pick them up. (Joy!) Of course, who knew how much the medicines would cost? While I sat in the pharmacy drive-thru, I read the only book in my car: a book of Bible verses. And upon flipping through it, I heard God tell me over and over again to calm down. He'd take care of it. So I sighed. Okay. Then, I turned to the pharmacist to receive counseling on how to administer the different medicines to my boys, and handed over my debit card at the same time I heard these lovely words: "Your total is five seventeen." My breath caught, and I felt a need to clarify: "Five dollars and seventeen cents?" The pharm tech smiled: "Yes."

"That was rather humbling," I said to J on the drive home. (Don't worry. I used my Jupiter Jack to talk to her, so both hands remained on the wheel.) And the humb-lage continued into yesterday, when I realized we simply had an abundance of bills to pay and a not-so-abundant amount of dinero to pay them with. In the evening, as I sat in the bathroom while G splashed in the tub, I opened the Easter card my mother sent us to find that she had included enough cash to cover the unexpected co-pays and prescriptions - and then some.

And I thought, Wow. How is it that the God of the universe cares so much about me? Especially during this week, when my focus should be totally on Him, He takes care of me. He doesn't slap the back of my head, wrap His ruler on my desk, and force my attention to the cross. He just loves me, tells me to calm down, and takes care of me. Wow.

Perhaps you are not surprised by this outpouring of grace upon me during Holy Week. And maybe I shouldn't be either. I guess I just assumed that since I wasn't in some spiritual, other-place of holy thought and austere disposition, I must have failed to do what He wanted me to do this week. But maybe what He wanted me to do this week is take care of my kids the best I could, and let Him worry about the monetary details.

Perhaps you are a skeptic, not convinced of God's existence or Christ's divinity, and you are rolling your eyes at me for concluding that God was in all these things with me this week. You think it's coincidence, not God. I can tell you but probably not convince you you're wrong. But maybe even on this, the most Good of Fridays, nothing about Christ's sinless life and undeserved death will change your mind. My prayer is that His glorious resurrection will.

And now, some wisdom from my girl Lauryn.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.