In which I revisit a former post

A couple of weeks ago, I posted some questions that have been weighing rather heavily on my heart. I received some earnest, honest, insightful comments, all of which I took to heart. BGB's in particular stuck with me. She asked what I felt when I asked God about the assurance that my first baby - whom I miscarried - is in Heaven. And the truth is that I hadn't asked Him. I wanted to find a black-and-white answer in the Bible. I wanted a verse and reference, a written-in-the-Word-and-therefore-irrefutable affirmation that my Orison is with Him. And while I looked up the one verse offered as a help, it didn't satisfy me. (I figured David could be speaking of death itself and not necessarily the afterlife.)

And the other truth is that I was afraid to. What if I asked and heard no audible reply? What if I heard a reply I didn't want to hear? Well, BGB's question haunted me for a week or so, and I finally asked Him. And I felt a response - a simple, true answer - almost immediately.

So I didn't trust it.

I waited a few days, found myself restless in bed one night, and asked again. And the same answer came to me, a little louder but still gentle in its reassurance of deceased babies' immortal souls: They return to Him because they belong to Him to begin with. Their innocent selves have lived no life during which they're capable of turning their backs on their Creator, blaspheming His name, refusing to accept the forgiveness, grace, and love He offers. They return to their heavenly Father because they are His.

And as for my desire to be able to show myself or anyone else a verse that makes this truth explicit? I hope I can come across a verse that explains this someday, so maybe I can help someone experiencing a difficult infant loss. But I'm leaving room for the possibility that this may just be a truth written between the lines.