A girlfriend of mine

who is multiracial and was adopted into a white family (with another, not biologically related to her, adopted brother) sent me some interesting links recently. I'll include them at the bottom of this note. Strangely enough, I didn't take the time to read them until this evening, after I'd read this post and this post. I have to admit I found myself moved by the story but probably not in the same way as the people who responded to this blogger sharing Ronel's story.

So the gist of the thing is that if you talk to enough people who've been adopted from one culture or race and into a family of a differing one, you'll be forced to face the fact that this isn't necessarily always ideal. I don't particularly care for this idea, but I'm pretty sure I can't argue with it. Bear with me on this one. Just go with me for a sec...

I'll use first person pronouns rather than generalizing: When I think about adopting a child - whether a Hatian orphan I feel sure needs a home (even though maybe they have a family looking for them) or from a domestic foster home - I am thinking about a desire I've had since I was a young girl. I'm thinking about what my family will look like after Andrew and I are done having children. I'm thinking about the love I have that I want to give a child who may otherwise never have a family. At least, not family the way I think of it. What my mind doesn't consider is that sometimes a child in an orphanage in another country may not be there permanently. Sometimes a child is "given" to an orphanage because the family can't feed him, but the family has every intention of getting their child back when they're in a better position to provide. But because of (sometimes corrupt) international adoption policies and Americans eager to "save" children, the family - whether immediate or extended- never has the opportunity to go back and bring their child back home. How heartbreaking for a parent who thought he was doing - temporarily - what was best for his child to learn that the situation has been made permanent and his child now has a new family, miles away from him. And how many more times must the magnitude of this be multiplied if a devastating earthquake occurs, and after weeks of searching just to find out if your child is alive, you learn he is alive and you'll still likely never see him again?

Now.

Please don't think I'm saying there aren't starving children in Haiti - or any other place in the world, for that matter. What I am saying is that American Christians as a whole are spectacularly guilty of disbelieving in the importance that race plays in a person's sense of self. Perhaps we think that acknowledging racial and cultural differences must necessarily include negative stereotypes, unpronounceable food, and awkward lulls in conversation. We falsely believe that loving each other regardless of color means we must also ignore it. Not so.

If you click on the links below, you'll find some very strong verbage. I don't agree with it all. But it's definitely given me a lot to think about.

Click here to read racialicious.
Click here for Adoptees of Color Roundtable.